Everything happens for a reason

In continuing in my journey of reuniting with my birthparent I would like to chronicle how the search came about and why I decided to start searching seriously. I have always been very curious about finding my roots, and reconnecting with my first parents. Actually, I only was interested in finding my mother, because I had the whole fantasy in my head that my father got her pregnant and left her. I was always very angry with him without knowing the story at all. It's just one of those things I thought I knew the story but I didn't. More about that some other time. I have always since I was very young wanted to find my mother. I remember fantasizing about her especially when I would fight with my parents or feel as though we just didn't mesh. Well, when the internet came about I got really excited because I thought this was my chance to really start searching for information. Although I didn't have ANY information whatsoever and I didn't even know how to start searching. I always felt wrong for searching and worrying about hurting my A-parents. Starting at 18 is when I really started seriously searching which miraculously was when my father started looking for me too. He even hired a private investigator to come find me but didn't have any information on me either. I find this story so interesting on how it all fits together and I found both of them with such ease. This is how I know it was meant to happen. One day in college I was spending time with my cousin who slipped about a lead in finding my birthparents. This basically caused a lot of drama in my family and hurt my amother quite a bit so I put the searching on hold for a while. Many times I would think I was just going to give up, and then I would start again. My cousin mentioned something about my parent's family friend...but that is all I know. I will call them the "C" family. I gave up on my search for many years, and was preoccupied with college life, and working, socializing and friends. Well, about a year and a half ago Mr. C passed away which was my parent's best friend. He had a daughter I grew up with, and I had a feeling I needed to get her contact information and stay in touch because the "C" family had the missing link to my past. Since daughter C just lost her father I found it inappropriate to ask questions about my birth family right away so I waited a couple of months always keeping her e-mail close to me. Well, months later my best friend was pregnant and asked me if I had thought about starting the search over again, and I said I didn't know. Then, the same week another close friend brought it up as well. So...the real search began. First, I decided to hire a private investigator who was a real asshole and didn't do anything. I said I was using the internet to search and he said the internet was no good and I would not find ANYthing on there. This is a very sensitive subject and you want someone to treat you with empathy and be gentle with you. He was not. So, I decided to e-mail daughter C to see if she knew anything about my mother. She said she needed to check with her mom and within a day she had my mother full name!! I couldn't believe it. I was freaking out. I had my mother's full name and a background story about her. I found out she was catholic, and very strong in her religion. She went to a single woman's shelter which my parents paid for, and that my father wanted to have an abortion (which later I heard was not true) I found out she had big eyes, and large puppy dog eyes have always been my trademark. I couldn't believe I was this close into finding her. I became obsessed with searching and I just knew I would find her. The first website I went to was classmates.com. I knew what year she graduated high school and also where....she was listed on classmates with her maidan and her married name!! I couldn't believe how easy it was. Then, my next step was finding out where she lived to get her address. I had my other good friend helping me with the search and we had narrowed it down to three or four different states but that really didn't help us. My birthmother is from a very small town in Iowa so we decided to look up that last name in the small town. We ended up tracking down my grandfather!!! So I had my good friend's mom call and say that she was an old college friend on my birth mom and she was trying to track her down. Just like that, my grandfather gave her Jan's address and phone number! I had it, but I still didn't want to wait to get her address. This is the crazy part of the story. I had a feeling my mother was a teacher. I don't know why I felt that, I just had that sort of connection with her. My friend is from Northren Va where I grew up and went on the Fairfax County school's website, plugged in her name...and there she was! She was a teacher!! We got her e-mail and everything. That easy. Lastly, we wanted to make sure it was her so we made up a fake alumni e-mail address verifying that she went to the high school we were told and it was in fact her. I also found out I had three half-siblings!!! I couldn't believe it. It took me a couple days to write her a letter but I finally sent her my first letter on March 31, 2005. She responded back on my birthday. April 3 2005. I just find it incredible how all the puzzle pieces fit together so easily. I really feel as though the meeting was meant to be as in all happenings in life. Her and I have much more to learn about each other. I can't wait to get to know her better and I really hope I have the opportunity. Signing off for now...